From the Heart....Usually

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 19:38:34 GMT

I haven't written in here in over a year. I wonder if anyone still uses livejournal...or is it completely dead?

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 21:41:34 GMT

James is soooooooooo mean like omg, he deleted my coment!

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 21:26:48 GMT

James is my bestfriend, or so he tells me everyday before he beats me. I can't help but wonder if he really means what he says anymore. Everyday, he pats me on the back, saying how I made his day. Immediately afterwards, he would whip me and pants me in front of my parents. I'm embarrassed.

I have a friend who is strong and tall. Apparently, they label people like that as Germans. He drives a Honda Accord, perhaps I was wrong about all Germans riding in BMW's. Oh well, I'm aware that his rich uncle actually builds them for a living, how convenient. Unfortunately, however, I have some friends who happen to be Dutch, James and them don't get along very well at all. I heard he actually invades their homes once in a while, just for kicks.

I was just sitting by myself in the library one afternoon, when I felt a strong hand grip me by the neck and attempt to choke me. I quickly realized it must be.... the GERMAN aka James.

This will conclude my college essay, which I am sending to Washington DC>

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 04:07:37 GMT

Testing

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 06:47:45 GMT

This is basically my experience down in Mexico though I left a lot of things out because I still have to take time and think about what happened (So much has been happening). In terms of the writing style, it may seem broken and illogical because I usually think incoherently. Please bear with me and try to read what I wrote in my Unconditional Booklet. I think that when I'm more conscious tomorrow, I'll be able to write about the happenings at the site and what I actually did in Mexico. As for now, I"ll just give you what I wrote down:

Intro: So yeah, this year will be my 3rd time going down to Mexico on a short-term mission trip with RHCCC.. But for the first time, I wrote down some of things that occurred during the week in order to learn more and to understand where I have been in order to move on with my walk. During this post, I'll also be thinking and reflecting because during the trip, there wasn't much time to do so in such a hectic environment. Though I tried to write down everything, theres some stuff I might've overlooked cause the bumpy car rides and what not prevented me from writing everyday haha.

Expectations: My expectations for this year were a little different. I expected to serve God as best as I could and to hopefully learn more about him through that. What I really wanted was to turn up this fire.. into one that was blazing brightly, unquenchable, and unstoppable. The 'spritual high' or whatever really didn't cross my mind because I was recently praying that I didnt want to define God as a set of feelings.. because by doing so, we only limit how he can change our lives. Well anyways, I also expected to fellowship and get really close with the people who were in the team this year.

Day One: 1st Samuel 3:2-10.. Wow this story totally describes some of the lives (including mine) at RHCCC. Interesting. If you read this section, you'll notice that this Samuel character is so much like us. Samuel spent his WHOLE LIFE at Church, YET HE DID NOT RECOGNIZE GOD'S VOICE. Whoa, alot of us are ppl born into Christians families. We look back and realize for the longest time we've been spending countless Fridays and Sundays at Church, yet do not know God. Is that me? We don't understand when God is speaking to us, clearly, we shrug and think it is other things. Ever wonder why after every trip to a retreat or every missions trip we fail once we come back? Its because we failed to realize that God was speaking to us. In fact, he speaks throughout our lives. "Hey Kester! I know theres alot of distractions in your life. I was wondering if you're going to be available this time." and so often is our reply "Wow I feel close to you God. But um, I think these pressures around me are too great. Maybe next time. I'll just be here for a while". And its interesting because when Samuel was finally ready to say "God, I'm available" he was going to change his world. Likewise, if we tell God, "Hey, your servant is ready to listen" and make yourself available to him, he's ready to take you beyond all imagination. Indeed, He can use YOU to change YOUR world. Just let him know your ready =)

Day One Thoughts: The trip is starting out okay, everyone is still trying to get to know each other...Not quite sure where the translators are standing right now, but it feels like they don't want to be part of the team or something.. Maybe that'll change during the week. "I Wanna be Your Hands, wanna be Your Feet" I pray that I can fulfill this throughout the week. How can I be His hands? Maybe Construction. Maybe VBS. Or Both.

The cliche thing to say would be to say that I'm grateful for what I have. This attitude seems to only work momentarily because the environment itself is temporary. I pray that it would become a lifechanging thing.. i hope to be able to reduce/eliminate usage of AIM when I get home because its a huge distraction. Worldy distractions no longer seem hard to overcome, though this is easy to say in a journal only.

This is the first day and I feel unsure about how to serve effectively. I can understand only a few of the spanish phrases but can't really communicate back in a meaningful way. I feel this language, cultural barrier seems evident for the first time. I'm not sure if "learning and getting close to God" is a selfish motive/goal for this week. In my opinion, this week is solely for serving. What comes first? Knowing him or serving him first then naturally getting to know him. Or maybe it doesnt matter.

Day Two Morning: Encouragement: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Interesting.. Every single time God gives us strength, we rationalize with it and drop the strength Christ wants to give you. What we really need is a childlike faith. Do you believe? Faith will cause you to overcome all odds.

Romans 10: Awesome, God reminded me once again that being a Christian has no strings attatched. Everday I need to declare that He is Lord. I have to MAKE SURE my heart follows him.

Sunday Service: Luke 5.. So often do we demand things of God when we DONT EVEN walk daily with him! God answers all prayers, its just sometimes we don't like the answers. How selfish of us! We need to have time ALONE with him. Its so true that many of us think God has to give us all this and that when we never ever talk to him.. we just put him in his corner and expect him to be the genie that grants our every needs. We have to build a relationship with him! Jesus care about our every needs.. Even when it doesnt feel like that is so. He even brings miracles like this one.

Day Two Evening: Judges 16:15-19 The Sick Cycle. Bondage/Freedom. Man, we our lives are so like the Israelites in Judges. We start in bondage (perhaps to our flesh) then we are freed by God (perhaps at a retreat) then we forget about God (afterwards) and repeat this sick cycle for the longest stretches of our lives.

Samson.. His biggest mistake was never giving his strength back to God. Instead, he gave to everything he loved he cut God out of the picture which caused him to miss his PURPOSE Are we like that? If we let pride take over.. we'll say "God Needs Me" when it should be "I need God" You have the strength, what are YOU going to do with it? Are you going to offer God what he has given you? Let us not be like Samson and end our lives in captivity. Rather let us move on with power and give all we have to him.

What is our purpose here today in Mexico? To fulfull this commandment: Love Your Neighbor as Yourself (Giving back to God)

Today, George and I opened up for discussion. Awesome time. Feelowships/Temptation/RH/Profound Things. Thanks

Day Two Thoughts: When we got to the site, the past came up and my focus was lost on how I can make this week the same or even better than last time. How foolish of me. I connected with George/Peter/Jason during the time on the site. I hope we can start connecting with Vincent.

Worshipping Together: I feel sad because it feels as if the people around me forgot what the definition of worship is.. "to express praise and devotion".. Instead of this "concert" type attitude. We clap not because the music is good.. But because it expresses what our desires for Him and we concur.

Day Three: John 12:1-36 God may not immediately do anything to stop our sins, but this does not mean he approves of our actions. 10:11, Avoid Sin TODAY otherwise this sin will lead to more sins and we need repentance and power from the Holy Spirit. WARNING: Devotion based only on curiosity or popularity FADES QUICKLY.. (such as those who believed only because of Lazarus) Reminder: Jesus had to DIE to pay for the pnalty of OUR sins. Let us serve God lovingly and freely because it brings joy. 12:35/36: We are LIGHTBEARERS.. How bright is MY LIGHT shining today? Can people see Christ in my actions?

12:32-34 Reminder: What is YOUR messiah/savior look like that you're seeking? DONT FORCE JESUS INTO YOUR OWN MOLD-HE WONT FIT!

To overcome Satan, we need FAITHFUL ALLEGIANCE TO GOD'S WORD, DETERMINATION TO STAY AWAY FROM SIN, AND THE SUPPORT OF OTHER BELIEVERS.

Encourage/Be Encouraged-Bless/Be Blessed... Success this week is based on how well you can encourage/bless others.. In turn, you will be encouraged and be belessed by others. Lets do it.

Hebrews 10:23-25 Awesome.. "The Superiority of Faith" Indeed let us hold UNSWERVINGLY to the hope we profess.. Because HE WHO PROMISED IS FAITHFUL lets SPUR ONE ANOTHER on toward LOVE AND GOOD DEEDS. HEY YOU! DONT GIVE UP MEETING! (Though some are in the habit of doing) Lets continue to meet as a small group guys and SPUR one another on.. We need love in our group. Lets ENCOURAGE each other.. all the more. Always encourage. We're all part of God's family, let's encourage one another/love one another today.

Day three Thoughts: "Be the Reason that I live Jesus, Jesus" Make this true in my life, Lord. My mind is willingly, but I have no idea what the condition of my heart is Lord. You're the only one who can change my heart. Help me please. I want you to be the only reason, my only focus. Jesus, I love you.

Day Four: John 12:37-50 There will always be people who see all that God does and REFUSE to believe it. In that case, we need to continue witnessing (our part) to them. They are the ones who decide. Jesus merely confirms ppl's choices of rejecting him-It is JUST AS BAD to believe and refuse to admit it as the same as not believing. God, that was me for so long in my life. Whoa Jesus is God so we can see/know God just by learning more about Jesus! God will honor the ones who serve Jesus. Hey, reevaluate your friends.. WITNESS TO THEM... The last thing we want is for us to be in heaven.. and seeing them say this to us: "Why didn't you tell me?" Lord, Help me in this area.

Oh man, this reminds me of Kevin: The greatest truth/love is sacrificing one's life for a brother. WE must realize that we're worth so much to God that he's willing to dig up all the dirt around you (whatever that may be) in order to find and finally get to YOU! You're that special to him! He'll remove all the sins and struggles in your life so that you can be uplifted. WE BOTH NEED CHRIST. We need to accept Jesus as our personal savior and to believe he saves us and can renew us.

Day Four Thoughts: For the first time in weeks, I felt powerless and unable to encourage someone who is struggling and in desparate need of comfort. I feel that I've taken everything about my christian faith for granted. Lord, Teach me to be able to know what and when to say things that will uplift others and to give their burdens to you. You're all that I want Jesus, Get rid of my unfounded fears. I want to know God by getting to know Jesus.

All I want is for God to say to me "Kester your service to me pleases me" or "well done good and faithful servant" I want God to reassure me that I am his son: I think The struggle I am having involved the flesh and its reliance on feelings to determine what is "assurred". Lord, I want to have assurance by remembering your promises, but I struggle cause I can't see you and having you tell me you love me though you do because you remind me through the book of John about your awesome sacrifice for a puny thing like me. This doubtful thoughts that scare me; Lord rid them for me. My flesh is too weak. Lord, offer me comfort through the Holy Spirit. Help me to rely on promises, not feelings. With God, I will overcome. Lord, give me a true child-like faith. I love you, Help me to show my devotion to you today.

Day Five: John 13:1-20 Jesus loves me so freaking much-He loves me with the "Full extend of his Love" We will be blessed if we wash one anothers feet (Does that mean we help rid of the dirt on one another?) "Do as I have done for you" Whoa, what a command. Jesus says that if we accept ppl Jesus sends, we accept Jesus; and if we accept jesus, we accept God. How do we treat those under us? Do we serve them like Jesus did? Jesus served the disciples. In turn, he wants us to serve God/each other serving all ppl to whom they took the message of salvation.

Everyday, not just a mission trip... ask yourself, Kester. Who you can serve TODAY. Follow through with humble service and it will please God.

"Jesus I love you and I want to say: Forever my love, forever my heart, forever my life is yours." Jesus I want you in everypart of my heart/life forever.

"Forever God is faithful, Forever God is Strong, Forever God is With Us" Encouraging. =)

Who am I to do it- "I will be with you" is God's reponse to us. Of course we can't do it! We already tried throughout our lives! We demonstrated that already. We need God's strength.

ITS NOT THE TOOL, ITS THE MASTER WHO USES THE TOOL. Whoa, that is totally mind blowing. God can use a tool like you and me in order to accomplish great miracles. God wants to use us today. Obedience is better than sacrifice- all we need to do is BE USED

In our weakness he is made strong. Live by faith alone/Lettin everything go/ Faith=Complete trust in God that he'll save.

This is the Time of Your LIFE.

Day Five Thoughts: I don't know if I completely let God use all of me as a tool for his glory. I hope I did today. When I welcomed Jesus into my heart, I fulfilled John 1:12. I received him and was spiritually reborn. All this doubting started when I thought of ways that I might lose my salvation, but they're aren't any! Jesus I love you!

"For they loved praise from men more than praise from God" (John 12:43) Is that me? Somtimes its easier to do earthly things and be praised, rather than not doing those, but God's work in order to praise the father of the most high.

Day Six: John 13:21-38 Lord, I never want to let go of my faith in you because you are the one who loves me. To love others isn't new, but to love others as MUCH AS CHRIST LOVED others was revoltionary. We can witness and save unbelievers by showing this Christ-like love (34-35)

(38) "Will you really lay down your life for me?" Paul wants us not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought (Roman 3:2-3) Instead of bragging, demonstrate your commitment step by step as you grow in your knowledge of God's word and in your faith.

14:13 Though unseen our eternal life is secure, as secure as our trust in Jesus. Are you willing to believe? Put Full trust in Him.

Let us not say "I won't fall or lose after a spiritual high" Because we may be like the apostle Peter.

And that's all I have written in my Journal booklet. Something was different about this trip. I'm beginning to think that the "high" I used to feel.. Is due to the fact that I do not spend time with God, and when I finally do, we feel close to him.. But now that Dchang and I have been doing devotions for 5 weeks now, the steady growth made this week a bit more like a slow growth as well. Still, I learned alot and I hope some of it may encourage those who read this. God bless!

-Kester

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 14:36:14 GMT

Haha, Hey guys and gals! Yeps, I'm back from Mexico! Sorry about not posting anything in here when I got back =x Ugh, got really sick yesterday (Saturday) so I didn't really have the energy to copy my notebook journal into this one rAwr I hope I didnt' get west nile or some form of malaria cause I've been bitten by quite a few mosquitos (George, I guess I overlooked some areas of my arm or something)...well anyhoo, I'll try to type up everything after church or something and update.

Anyways, Mexico Outreach this year was pretty awesome. Haha, our team bonded relatively well (well maybe not the T's), but yeah, everyone did indeed work together for His glory. I really want to thank those who prayed for our team during this week! We had an awesome time getting close to God while being able to serve His people wholeheartedly =)

Sat, 31 Jul 2004 06:25:49 GMT

This is my last post for about a week. Tomorrow (Saturday) I'll be leaving for my short-term mission trip down to Mexico. Hopefully I'll get to journal everything down and share with you guys when I come back next friday! =)

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 18:59:50 GMT

Majesty.
Wonderful.
Holy Lord.
Emmanuel
Prince of peace.
Righteous one.
Sacrifice.
Crowned as King.

Chorus:
Father I adore You
I live each day for you
Jesus I love you
I give my life to you

Help me to make these words true in my daily life.

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" "Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world." John 11:25-27

=) Awesome reminder that we should be people like Martha whom have a deep faith in Him. I'm also reminded that we can have wonderful assurance and certainty because "Because I live, you also will live"! He who is life can surely restore life.

Also during devotions: "Then Thomas said to the rest of the disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with him." (11:16)
Whoa! This is comming from Thomas the "doubter". Here he demonstrates love and courage in following Jesus. The Jews were ready to arrest Jesus and his followers and so the majority of the disciples were afraid to go back and tried to convince Jesus to visit Lazarus later. However, Thomas spoke up and told all the other disciples that they should go with Jesus, even if it means death. We too should be willing to consider the high cost of being Jesus' disciple and follow him completely!

Have a great friday, guys!

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 19:57:38 GMT

o_O I think being physically tired is really causing me to slide. More sleep after all the house repairs are finished. =)

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 17:32:04 GMT

Before posting in this journal, I wasn't quite sure if I really wanted to post devotional learnings publicly. The thing is, however, we should be like (or at least attempt to be) like the man born blind in John 9. Basically in this chapter, there were several responses to Jesus' work in their lives. 1) Complete denial (Pharisees) 2) Surprise (neighbors) 3) Belief in Christ but held in secrecy (Parents of the blind man) and 4)Shameless and growing faith (the blind man). Its interesting how people are so willing to talk about the run-of-the-mill average day cause its so widely accepted, yet are embarrassed to talk about Jesus or something (haha like me). Well, its also okay to post about what you learned during devotions! =) Just take this as an encouragement. Even though the blind man wasn't educated in theology or anything, he realized what He had done for him and caused him to become unashamed and willing to tell everyone what Christ has done in his life. Maybe we can do something like that.

So on Monday night, the decision was to pray for everyone at 10:30. I woke up around 9:00am, so I decided to go to Bally's and to do some cardio. After burning a few hundred Calories, I came home and Dchang and I had an awesome time. Yeah, I think its obvious that people usually come with a 'grocery list' mentality before Him and neglect to thank Him for the great and awesome things he has and is continually doing in our lives. So Dchang and I pretty much had to learn from scratch how to thank Him for everything that he's done for our fellowship/congregation. Haha it was an awesome experience cause time just flies when your talking with Him. Pretty much throughout the afternoon, I was trying to figure out how to clean up the flat part of the roof in order to apply sealant and a protective coating later. Took forever to get 10 years of dirt off of it o_O. Later on in the evening, we met up with Amy and "helped" her with Spanish (though I failed Spanish 2/3 x). Haha Amy and her mom are really nice! =) thanks for the food and pepsi haha. Then afterwards we met up with Peter, but unfortunately, the X-Box that would've allowed us to view movies was taken away by Thomas. Then Peter gave us fake cigarettes that were made out of chocolate or something, haha they were pretty good (so was the packaging material for the UPS box thing with salt). Oh well, we just talked and took Amy home. Back to Peter's place we bumped some KFSH haha. Had an awesome worship time. Haha, had to remind ourselves worship is a whole-day type of heart thing again =) Came home and did devotions on Chapter 9 like I said previously, so yeah. Looking forward to typing and putting up all the journal entries about John. Have a nice day!

New Day. Live it like it could be your last.

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 19:11:27 GMT

Thanks Irene for the encouragement! Just right after that post, John 8 blew me away during devotions. In the world that believes in relativism, absolute truth seems elusive. However, I have found that truth; and it can set you free. =)

Later on today, Dchang and I are going to try to write and journal down everything since John 1. Whoa. Its going to be a huge task, but hopefully it'll become a great tool for sharing with others.

"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32

Are you a disciple? I want to be.

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 04:37:47 GMT

Fish fest was awesome. Jars of Clay. Delirious. Steven Curtis Chapman and more. =)

Growing has slowed down a little bit.

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 16:03:19 GMT

Awesome Saturday, Perhaps an even more awesome Sunday at the Fish Fest.

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 17:16:09 GMT

This entry is dedicated to my friend Dchang. All I can say is amazing. Profound. Impossible. Awesome. I can say I've seen countless changes in your life throughout the years I've known you, but the changes these past few weeks outshine and eclipse the past. Perhaps more than the past few weeks, this week alone has proven that you can do what you say. John 5. I had no idea you would get those lessons out of such a passage and it blows my mind at how calm and mature you handled everything so far. PTL. (Ineed that is so right, if we don't stop, then something worse will happen to us). Indeed, if we stop sinning in those areas, then he can regain control and help direct future relationships so that it is pleasing to him. That really struck me as a reminder of what I should stop doing and should start doing, thanks.

What I really admire about you is your desire to continue listening to him and talk to him, especially under these circumstances. Perhaps what's more important, our newfound reliance on him has proven to be the calm in the storm, John 6.

Though we may feel like boats tossed around in 100ft waves,
Let us wait in solitude for Him. Just like in John 6|Matthew 14.

Save us. Everyday.

Appreciation

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 17:53:35 GMT

Too often do I take relationships for granted. Its odd how people in countries with lower standards of living, usually have relationships that are lasting and valued. Perhaps its this 'fast food' mentality that we Americans have which hinder or hurt the relationships we hold.

Well yeah, I really want to thank those who are always (mostly) there.
I won't list names because it'll take away the meaning.

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 07:00:48 GMT

How profound, everything that I told people were messages that were meant for me to understand and apply to my life as well.

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 16:55:41 GMT

Well, I've completed roughly 180 Hours for my Internship, so I decided to take a three week break before going back and working some more. Anyhow, since I'm finally able to use the computer for an extended amount of time, I think I should try to list some of the current happenings. There are alot of personal experiences that I've had the past two weeks as well, but I'm not sure when or if they'll be available online (if you're interested, then please email me at pookeyster@gmail.com)

Currently, I'm re-reading 1st John to get a better grasp and absorb the stuff thats in it, certainly overwhelming. The assurance of salvation has always been an 'on and off' feeling. However, I was once again reminded that we shouldn't rely on feelings, but on facts and God's promises. Like Peter said, around noon, I feel like I'm going to die and end my life..During the daily devotions with Dchang, we're going through John to establish a firm foundation in what we believe in order to continue growing outward. The most challenging thing so far would probably be sharing with "intellectuals" or "atheists". I suppose most of the difficulty arises because as Christians, theres basically two ends of the spectrum that we utilize in witnessing to them. The first would probably be 'just praying for them' and nothing more. Which is good, but iono, faith without action is dead? The other end would be to reason them into our faith, which is bound to fail (At FRCC, one speaker said that if you can be reasoned into a religion, you can just as easily be reasoned out)

Taste the Better Wine, people. I've learned that we shouldn't engage ourselves in trying to satisfy ourselves with the things this world offers. Yes, reach out and get the best wine, now.

As an encouragement to those who are struggling to hold on, remember what we learned? Life is but an instant compared to eternity! Remember the reason for waking up each morning. Certainly not to do your daily routine, grow up, get a job, get a family, and die. For his Glory. Perhaps most importantly, remember the one who can genuinely offer you true love, something humans are incapable of giving.

I thought I would write alot more, but I'll just write on a want-to-know basis =)

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 06:13:45 GMT

Thanks Amy for letting me share about some stuff =) ur a great listener..haha you 'drove' pretty well today too! If you need anything, always feel free to contact me.. Haha yeah, I say that to alot of people, but I actually mean it x)

Today's sermon on 'Spritual Maturity' was incredible. Today's Sunday school bible study on 1st John, was the answer to some of my deepest curiosities. Ah, I must decrease, and the He must increase.

Lately, I've been struggling and feeling a bit lonely.. Thanks to the brothers and sisters who have been willing to fellowship with my lately!

Well, theres alot of stuff I'm just going to write in my paper journal so yeah.. I'll post them once I get a chance to get it all down =)

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 14:21:01 GMT

Sry guys, really didn't get a chance to post about what's happening in regards to the 180 degree turn around. My sharing about FRCC is like 5% of the things I really want to share about. Haha, yeah.. seems like a lot, but the two weeks I've been back in LA, I've had mountaintop after mountaintop experience. Yeah, I know that for alot of people, right after one mountaintop, we slide down into a valley. Somehow, however, because of daily surrender, each time I climb one mountain, another one appears ahead of me to climb. Interesting, huh? I still stumble, but because I know the paradox of Jesus loving sinners but hating sin, I no longer condemn myself to the point at which I no longer approach him about anything. If I slide down, he's there to catch me.. I just need to put my full trust in him.

Life is indeed an adventure now.. New things to learn, explore, gain experience from, and to grow.
I'll try to write down everything I wanted say in the FRCC entry in this journal, but it'll take quite a while and I'm not sure if I can sit here and keep typing up two weeks of experiences.. haah but, I'll do it cause I need reminders of his active participation in my daily life.

I need to learn not to talk, but to listen more.

Today on Friday, July 16...Not my will, but his. =)

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 00:34:44 GMT

Kevin, in case you didn't read my comment on your xanga... Here goes:

Sry Kev, I wasn't able to really say anything meaningful in response to you during the past two days until this morning..when my bible was flipped randomly to the first chapter of Job. I understand that you want to think things out for yourself after all these events, so I'm asking you to also read the entire book of Job before you come to any conclusions. To get a feel for what this book is all about, I'll give you the purpose and key verse of this section...Perhaps you might be able to relate to it.

Purpose: To demonstrate God's sovereignty and the meaning of true faith. It addresses the question, "Why do the righteous suffer?"

Key Verse: "Then the LORD said to Satan, 'Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason' " (2:3)

After reading it, feel free to discuss it with me (hit me up on my cell if its easier). The majority of what Dchang and I wanted to discuss with you are already written by your friend, Boba_BBy2 so I won't repeat it here.

A friend, Kester

Kevin, theres alot of stuff in your entry that I want to answer for you.. but it'll only sound like I'm attacking what you now believe in. Perhaps when your ready we can discuss what some things really mean, and what other things are simply a mystery because of his sovereignty.

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 23:31:21 GMT

Anyway, today at my Internship... Richard attempted to steal my money, then proceeded to make fun of how young I was o_O

FRCC Conference

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 02:27:20 GMT

Like Daniel, I decided to exclude most of the stuff that doesn't really amount to much in the grand scheme. I've ommitted alot of things I want to say because my fingers will get tired -__-" I'm only human.

Introduction: Between last Friday to this Tuesday, I had an experience that changed my approach and views on life. Ever watch Ripley's Believe it or Not TV Show? There was an episode where this man was blind for 50 or so years and was finally able to see..Well, I kinda had something like that happen to me over the weekend.

I guess I should first off give you a background before presenting my experiences. I'm 17 and was born into a Christian family. I don't know when I was born-again, but I know that sometime during my life, I confessed that I was a sinner, asked for Jesus' forgiveness, and accepted him through faith to be the Lord and Savior of my life. In 7th grade, I was finally ready to proclaim in front of people that I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior and got baptized. Since childhood, I was constantly being told stories from the bible, so I can practically act out every major event you can think of. I yearned for an experience. Anyways, sometime during High School, my mentality began to change and I began to systematically doubt everything that I once understood, including religion. Certain things seemed to make me doubt the validity of everything I heard, like the attributes of God and the purpose of life. I really didn't care much for life and I was quickly drawn into the temptations the world offered. Anyhow, I became a person of great doubt. I doubted God's presence or that if he even cared about me. I became the devil's advocate. In every major discussion at church, I always countered and reasoned against the speaker.

Everytime I go to a retreat and see some random people speaking in tongues or whatever, I tell myself that its fake.. that they're only telling their own bodies to do that. That this so-called "experience" is just a mental state, all you have to do is pretend it. After this conference, I was going to think otherwise. I can boldly say that the Un-same retreat that was held a week ago was merely a big social event for me. I really didn't care about whether or not God changed me and whether or not that I would become "un-same". Perhaps the only thing I got out of it was the fact that I should be authentic. Other than that, even a 'spiritual high' never crossed my mind. I expected to be the 'same' anyhow.

My Experience: Well anyway somehow by the grace of God, I was able to go to ZCOP (Now FRCC) Summer Conference. To be honest, I really wanted the conference to be a break from all the drama that I had experienced recently. But the opposite proved true. There WAS ALOT of drama, but it was God's way of convincing me to turn my life around. I'm the generic lukewarm Christian, and besides going to Church on Friday's or Sunday, I really didn't care about surrendering my life to God. I pretty much used God as a "forgive me now for free" machine. Anyhow, at this conference, despite my attitudes and motives, something was about to happen when I least expected it to.

The first night I got there, I knew something was up, Jason Ma shared his personal testimony and I began to look at life differently. "Approximately 43 million babies have been killed by abortion. This figure is roughly 1/3 of our entire generation." That means..Jill, Robert, Kenny, Bob, and Sally aren't in our lives because they were killed before ever given a chance to fulfill their destiny and God's plan. Wow. Jason then began to describe the uncertainty of life.. Okay, so I've heard this about 1000 times at every retreat I ever went to.. How we can die if we leave this room or that that your life would come to an end the next time you take a breath blah blah blah. But this message was comming from a person who was NOT SUPPOSED to be alive today..Why the heck am I taking life for granted?

Okay, so the first thing I learn is that my life is not purposeless, it has a destiny and my duty is to fulfill God's plan. There is truely a reason for me to be alive today. The conference then proceeds and like the typical retreat, we learn about how Jason is a Jesus fanatic and how he has fallen in love with God. Oh yay, how fun I thought (sarcastic). But my heart was once again touched when I came to the realization of how much Jesus loves me. Sure, I can say he died for me and shrug it off like how the majority of Christians today do. I mean, I've heard it 2 billion times to ever care about how much it means. But to come to the complete understanding of such a sacrifice is truely mindblowing. Jesus is the only person who can show you true love, even if you are the most lowly person on the face of this planet, somebody like me. Nobody else on this Earth will ever have that much passion for you (not even your bf/gf).Wow, something is being said to me.. Like I've watched the Passion of the Christ and that finally made alot of sense to me. How can I go about living each day if I want to stay in control? I can't. What do I do I asked? By surrendering it, God answered. Okay, this asnwer has crossed my mind months ago when I asked Chris how to do it ("do it daily" he answered), except I always shrugged it off cause the world was so tempting and pleasing to me that I did not want to give it up.

Alright, so Jason then shares about supernatural experiences he had. Still, in my mind, I continued to doubt and believed that this retreat was just a spiritual 'high' and that I shouldn't care about any of those experiences cause I would never experience someting like that. Man was I wrong.

We learned one thing that Christians should do daily.. And that is to surrender to God. Well, in addition to that, we need to "Wait on God". This phrase is a bit confusing cause God is always there.. So in reality, he is waiting for US. How do I do this? Well, by letting go of the flesh and mind that continually distract us. Our bodies lust and yearn for the things of this world and our minds do the same as well. How can I ever hear God when these worldly things are blaring so loudly? Well, our entire group just 'waited' on God that night. Well it was more than that. Everyone earnestly prayed that God would set our hearts on fire for him, and it was answered.

Well, what happened? Everyone started asking God to light our hearts on fire for him and to stir up an unquenchable passion for Jesus. Some people felt like their hands were on fire. I felt nothing. Then Jason asked for people who had different callings to go up to the front. Again, I felt nothing. Again, they asked for people who were called to mission to the nations. Again, I felt nothing. We prayed for the sick because if we believe, God will answer. I felt nothing.People in back of me began to laugh and cry out. I still felt nothing. Then, I finally realized why I did not "feel" anything. It was because I expected God to show up as some little "physical feeling" that appeared whenever. I put God in a box. When I realized this, I told myself..

Kester, instead of waiting for the wrong motives and for expecting something like the 'heavens opening up' or something, be sincere and wait on God. Again, God is already there so the whole time, I kept trying to rid myself of the distractions. God, I'm willing to recieve any sign, just as long as you show me one tonight. Honestly, out of nowhere, Daniel approached me and told me he had a calling to pray for me. Okay, Pause. At this moment, I'm in complete disbelief because I didn't believe God can answer me in this way, ever. I just told myself that this was another one of those 'thoughtful prayers Daniel had so I could walk away saying I sorta lil bit heard God's voice'.. Well anyways, Daniel then began praying.. the amazing thing is, it wasn't him praying.. it was the Holy Spirit praying THROUGH him. I recieved the most comforting words that spoke to me directly. Things that I never told daniel and things that finally rid myself of bitterness that I have kept inside for so long. Daniel then became overwhelmed and more things were said.

Okay, prior to this.. An image flashed through my mind. It was an image of Daniel bringing many to Christ. I kinda shrugged it off. But something inside told me to pray for Daniel. Remember how I thought all this 'experience' stuff was self-propelled? I used my entire mind to force myself to pray quietly and controlled as possible. I began praying and if you ask Daniel, he'll recall that it was just the average "oh time to end fellowship" kinda prayer. Then I let myself go, I prayed but it wasn't me talking. Alright, this is the hardest thing to explain because if I were someone else reading this journal entry, I'd laugh and say all this intellectual stuff to disprove this kinda thing. In my mind, the vision I had overwhelmed me and I thanked God for allowing Daniel to be able to fulfill his plan in this unique way. Then tears flowed from my eyes.. I'm not talking about one drop or something. It was so much that I had to contantly wipe my face in order to continue praying. Eh, I'm not the emo kid who cries at everything. I was a bit shocked by what God was doing. Its amazing, when you admit your weakness to God, he gives you strength. I DONT KNOW how to pray... I didnt know WHAT to pray.. So I admitted to God I was of little faith, and asked him how can I pray for my brother Dchang if I don't believe? Suddenly, I felt iono.. overwhelmed again by God's love.. and I felt that he was telling me to tell Daniel that he loves him so freaking much.

For the remainder of the night, I couln't believe that God answered me so immediately and in such a real way. Well, he would continue to answer me.

Monday night is when God broke the addictions I had in my life. Monday night is also when people were called to be the ones to change our generation. To be honest, I was afraid of this calling, so I sat in my seat. I wanted status quo, I loved my life. I like the way I act and the goals I had. But this was wrong, and again, I waited and began to let go the distractions in my mind. I prayed earnestly that.. GOD, EVEN THOUGH I DID NOT STAND UP FOR THIS CALLING, BUT IF YOU STILL WANT ME TO WITNESS TO OTHERS, GIVE ME A SIGN. Okay, before I go on, I have to clarify what I mean.. TESTING GOD is something that should not be done, and my plea for a sign was not a test to see if God existed. I could not deny his existence. I just wanted him to confirm the calling I had ignored. Shortly afterwards, I walked to get water and this guy who had given me a ride was asking for my name and I just thanked him for giving me a lift and what not. Then I asked Daniel to go outside with me cause I really needed him to pray for me. I guess I tried to 'act' for God and use Daniel as a 'sign'. Again, this wasn't God's plan.. So circumstances arose so that Daniel and I had to return back into the building. Doubts once again race through my mind. Remember, I'm the intellectual one, I doubt supernatural things. Again, I was shocked and appalled by what happened next.

I began walking to the otherside of the room to get ready to leave again. I see the same guy who gave me a ride walk towards where I was going. In my mind, I was thinking "no way, theres no way he's going to tell me what I need to know". What the heck, he walks and STOPS me. Okay, the doubtful Kester thinks that all he will say is "do u need a ride" and I'll just thank him or something. Wrong. He looked at me and said...Kester, are you anxious or something? Let me pray for you. Okay, My face was not anxious. It was the generic (does my face look like its amused kinda face). Whoa, whered he come from? I explained my fears and how I was waiting for God and he just opened up in prayer. That is when I was finally rid of my fear that has kept me in bondage for so long. I was able to accept God's calling and iono I was overwhelmed again.

Eh? No way, How can he answer Kester so many times? Again I thought. And again he answered. On the way back, I kept thinking about the last sharing. Johnny had said that retreats are only "spiritual highs" because that is what YOU MAKE THEM TO BE. Something that kept reoccuring in my mind was that "lovers work better than workers". If I love Jesus, everything will flow naturally, WITHOUT EFFORT. I have to tell you, after realizing how much God loves me.. I fell in love with Jesus. If I rely on my own strength when I return to LA to keep 'changed', I'll burnout. But if I'm relying on God for my new life and TRUELY make him the Lord of my life (through daily surrender) then I won't ever have to worry. Anyhow, on the ride home, I prayed for more faith and more strength. After I got home, people were giving me discouraging views about my new devotion to Christ. "Oh its a High" was the most common answer. Eh, maybe so if I was REASONED to become on fire for God. But like that one guy said.. If I can be reasoned in, I can easily be reasoned out. But this was different, I had an encounter. I keep running and doubting, but each time, I'm swept up into God's arms. The old has gone, the new has come.

Despite discouragment and "reality checks", I prayed to God earnestly that he would SHOW ME HOW TO PRAY. He answered instantaneously. Daniel and I did devotions and like he was saying today's devotions title was "How to pray". Impossible. I was really shook up. And you know what? Each verse that I read that night answered all the questions in my mind. Coincidence you say? Multiple encounters with Jesus in a weekend? The definite answer. Ask and it will be given to you has never been a phrase that was ever 'logical' for me. But it has undoubtedly happened so many times.

I'm not here to say how "righteous" I am or to urge you to become a Christian or something. I'm just describing how I have totally realized waht I have taken for granted and that I really do have a passion, a passion for Christ. I've made a few commitments in changing my social life and my motives, especially towards girls. After that workship thing, my whole mind was transformed. I'm sure all of you are still doubting 'how long this will last'. And my decision is to continue this with God's strength... Perhaps it becomes YEARS, but I will never say "well, guess it wasn't a high wasn't it?", I'll let you decide.

I guess I really want to apologize for my past life. But give me a chance to change for the good. Just reading my past journal entries really sickens me because I've been so ashamed of Jesus when he was never ashamed of me.

Everyday, I need to rely on him. I'm free.

Summer Retreat 2004 Un-Same

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 05:47:51 GMT

Well, I guess its my turn to tell my point of view about the summer retreat last weekend.

Friday: So I pretty much get to church late and I just waltz right in and see tiffany who is being bothered by Bianca, interesting..Then I saw Emily crying and was leike o_O uh oh..so yeah she later tells meeh everythings okay so then..Then what, oh yeah.. Kevin was all trying to talk to his 'gf' tiffany wang, but all she did was ignore him....reallie reallie depressing. So then I mess around with Kevin and we jump on each other until its time to go into the main sanctuary for some instructions. Then i tease tiffany about not talking to kevin and i jack emily's giraffe or watever and turn it into a seahorse (with masking tape you see) and then I start prancing around like a hindu and pretend that I'm the star of Finding Nemo (Nemo of course). So Kev and I just throw Nemo around and it gets all dirty..Anyhoo, I try jacking an entire row in the van since I cant ride with Dchang but like.. then i see Peter who was riding by himself, so kev and i decide to ride with him. we then proceed to drive 25 miles to his house somewhere near whittier.. btw, his house is so chill and looks like a replica of vickey's house (perhaps they had the same architect). so yeah, then we tour it and decide to crash there sometime in the summer.. then we get in the car and drink 10 pepsis (contributing to my 5 lb weight gain) so yeah, we drive around on different freeways that all happen to be full.. the thing is, we started talking and I got all these nice tips from peter and his kool experiences with chicks.. so we kick it and eventualy, i end up talking to michelle on the phone =) and later on i got to talk to yvonne and her 30 friends... but seriously, her friend eunice has a kute voice haha so we talk to her and amy and all thse gurls with black names like laquisha or something and like i think there was an annie and iono lots of ppl haha i hope i'll get to talk to eunice in the future haha okay moving on. then on the freeway, kevin and i just stick our heads randomly out the window and some guys were like wtf stupid teenagers, oh well. after 3 hours of traveling, we get to this carl's junior and decide to get some grub, we screw around and fill their trash bin and complain that there arent any asians around (except peter cause he's so damn asian)okay.. we then drive around and we talk about how we'll be in 20 years then we talk about some personal stuff n' yeah.... we end up overshooting pilgrims pines by like 10 miles.. so then we back track and get there.. all three of us then go to the lodge and find everyone is alreayd settled in so we head to our cabins by walking up this hella dusty trail. okay, then we spray some Axe on to get the attention of th ladies (not sure if it worked =/) so yeah, we then get down to the lodge and get ready for worship. emily then pulled me asside and handed a note that was so swt =) but -sigh- it ended up being a fake letter from tiffany so yeha, kinda depressing oh well.. then we all try to plan out something to trick dchang into thinking some chicks wanted to meet him in the middle of the night and have it so we would pop out of the bushes to scare him PWAHAHA so kev and i chill in the back with brian tippet and we just listen as we are 'welcomed' to the summer retreat.. during this whole time, im being a obnoxious latino and shouting comments and stuff =x so yeah, then we make these teams and kev and i decide to join the pink team (2).. unfortunately, not well anyhow, we end up being called the pink elephants so i devised a way to fight using elephant tusks... so kevin and i start battling it out for like 20 mintues while our team sits there helplessly trying to think of a chant.. then i kill eddie with my elephant trunk and he slaps my ass so hard that alice commented on the dangers of homosexuality. oh well. so then we get our chant competition and our team ends up getting 3rd place.. oh well, i guess my part of being dumbo didnt work out to well.. so yeah, then we have worship except its really distracting cause theres about a billion insects in the air.. fortunately, we had ppl like debbie who was extremely good at killing those damn pests while they fly around u (and honestly, those bugs were like the size of softballs) alrgithy, then the message is about authenticity so we start making all these masks.. haha well kev and i attempt to talk with tiffany and michelle but they end up ignoring us =/ so then i asked helen to hang with us and she did =) so yeahs, then i tried making a mask but i screwed up 3 times (mostly cause of kev) so i had to trash them.. in the mean time, i made a tattoo for kev that said i love tiffany or something.. haha how swt. alrighties then.. like we split up into cabin homies and i decide to jack the rest of the drinks inside the fridge (honestly, i didnt know there was a rule prohibiting that.. cause u see, at church, i always take the refreshments the asian ppl have) so yeah, then we climb up and we chillax for a while...

Friday Night: Well kev and I decided it would be hella fun to scare all the ppl trying to go to their cabins so we hide behind trees and crap and scare everyone haha emily teng got sooooo scared hahah wat a dork xD so yheah, then all the chicks take baths and the guys arel ike f' this im manly i dont need a shower cause its the great outdoors (well at least i thought so) so yeah, we then do stuff in general and i end up walking outside cause its REALLIE hot inside the cabin.. i then get hit by the damn paparazi who just jump out of the bushes and start taking pictures of meeh GDI oh well.. then it gets worse.. im like climbing down the freaking bunk bed and i explicitely tell everyone under me " dont look up, u'll see my b*lls" and like they f'ing take a pictures of me.. (i ended up deleting it so its all good) then like yeah.. man, all the guys had their homosexual sides turned up to the max. anyhow, so we just chill and if u've read everyone else's xangas, u'll have learned about he adventures the other guys had... well anyway, i wanted to hang out outside but i ended up not being able to cause the rest of my cabin were all cowards. oh well.. then we like screw around for 4 hours and end up sleeping pretty late.. eric and daniel end up yelling at some april gurl to come over and sleep with them, quite interesting... so yeah, besides calling a supposed 'whore' (cause it sure sounded like it) we didnt do much since there wasnt much reception in the cabin anyway.. then i was able to call and talk to lydia hwang for a lil bit and she was wispering cause yeah haha it was pretty late.. then like i fell asleepp and the next thing u know, its 5:00 am and time to go hiking with the chicks..

Friday Morning: well the boys ended up getting showers cause th chicks were a bit late.. ten we just sat around the rocks stuff and everyone was all just relaxing so meeh and kev went to hang out near an abandoned cabin then we jump down and tour this labyrithn that a 3 year old could solve. so yeah. then we head back up and want to swim but we cant so kev and i rang the bell like 100 times.. man, that is the freaking best bell i've ever rung. its so damn heavy that u cant stop it from vibrating once u hit it. so yeah.. then kev jacks the water gun and pretends to be some cowboy who wants to kill all these indians.. so i come back into our cabin and i find @#$@#!% in daniel's !*@#&*$#@$ bag (well while hes still in it) so kev and i decide to attack them CS-style and to annihilate them with water.. :D then like, we run out and helen and debbie were so nice to me and greeted me n' stuff xD. well after doing random stuff we go to the lodge to do devotions so we end up meeting our small group.. well it was okay so we just pray and went to breakfast =) well i sat with emily and kev sat with tiffany (and flirting like mad) so we get all this freaking food and i ate like a pig.. then i salt emily's food like a madman and she gets mad.. (though i explained that in the past, ppl valued salt like gold) so yeah, then i eat so much that my stomach starts to crush my lungs so i decide to stop.. then we go outside form some good ol' orientation from the camp directors.. we then end up going to our cabins for a lil bit of break time since all the small group leaders had to meet so yeah, we then go back down to the lodge and have some worship.... amn eveyrone was pretty wiped out cause the majority of us had less than 3 hours of sleep... o_O so yeah, after psteve does his message then we make smal groups agin... this time kev and i head up to the cabins cause i seriously had to unload a huge number 2..(and i ended up making the right-side cabin a biohazard level 4 zone) so we just go down and kev and i end up eating a huge load of gummy candy and stuff.. then we met with our small group whom we chilled with for a lil while.. i then learn that kev realie hates two of the members cause they're so ignorant n' stuf.. haha so yeah, then ppl go off to lunch and emily comes to our group to chill with us.. we then proceed to go up through the 'field of dreams' and into the cafeteria for our second meal of the retreat

Friday Afternoon: So we eat another freaking huge meal and we rest cause we're going to have workshops n' stuff.. well i ended up going to the dating one and it was kinda interesting.. the whole time, kev was screwing around an dtrying to catch this FREAKING HUGE bumble bee (like the size of a rat or something_ so yeah, then after some of that kind of entertainment, we were able to ask questions and i came up with some pretty good ones =) so yeah, after alot of questions and answers, i learn that gurls are reallie attracted to 'auditory stimulus' then i notice im pretty much into that stuff which renders me a weird male.. oh wlel. so then i try to make something for my secret buddy so i get a twig and right her name on it and Un-Same summer retreat 2004' on it in a kool fashion ( seriously, i could make and sell those to ppl cause they were so freaking good) well anyhow, i ask emily teng and aileen if its true that they would feel good inside if i told them they looked beautiful =) and they said yeah so yeahs.. then we get ready to play some dodgeball... except we ended up not playing it cause of iono.. some random stuff happens and we end up playing capture the flag.. okay, to make it straightforward, it was so obvious the team i was on won.. i mean come on.. the other side was making up all these rules so our side couldnt win.. and it was a bunch of bologna... oh well, so we win and i find out emily is completely damaged (well her ankle was thanx to some fooling around earlier).. okay so then we all decide to go play bball and then swim.. this whole time, kev is like a pimp and hang out with all the chicks.. LOL wen i saw them running out onto the pavement i thot kevin and captured all these lil 5th graders (honestly, it just appeared that way) so yeah, we play bball (well i didnt reallie) and we jump into this pool that should be considered a toxic waste lake.. seriously, there was so many bugs that u could just float right on top of them. so yeah,some ppl were swimming and im like freazing my ass off in the water so we climb out.. unforunately, the water was so poisonous that all of us coulnt breathe well for the rest of the day.. so yeah, we get changed and it ends up being time for dinner it hink..well right after dinner, kev and i go up to the balcony and we just talk about some stuff that was happening (lots of drama was happening)so yeah, then we help clean up by pushing in chairs for our kitchen patrol duties.. my memory boggles me.. so we eat cookies i think? then we go to the lodge to worship some more and to have small groups to discuss wat we learned..before all this could happen then we hung out back at the cabins... well some stuff happen and yeah i hope i was able to comfort her to some degree. then we had this reallie long and seirous chat with her and kev which was reallie reallie good (like everyone is englihtened) err i didnt reallie get a chance to explain my past stuff.. but im ean.. its alright (i kinda shared with tiffany after the retreat but yeah.. maybe one day i'll be able to get it off my chest and tell someone) so yeah,.. then like psteve tells us to go in and we have the message and afterwards the small groups again.this time kev is out and he ends up takling to em about some stuff so yeah.. then we just chill out.. and i didnt reallie have much fun at the bonfire well i did because michelle made meeh smile but i mean.. i didnt reallie get to hang out with ppl i wanted to so yeah, kinda not kool... besides, everyone had someone and i kinda felt left out.. so yeah, we ate some junk food.. well prior to this, we had skits and it was pretty chill.. though our team actually looked like crap cause my onlie line was "no comprendo" and kev ends up saying "tower of babylon" which was kinda embarrassing.. so yeah, then like afterwards, we head up to the cabins and yeah we have a serious chat too (some specifics that im ommitting include the movie that was playing some random acts of homosexuality and some randomness that just belongs int he cabin).. so yeah, ppl get in trouble too and so we just go to sleep pretty much eariler than anyone had expected... but yeah.. lots of personal stuff was said and i was kinda annoyed by some of it because its kinda a guy thing that i've lost respect for.. well anyhow, the next morning happens to be the morning of the last day of the retreat

Sunday: so we wake up pretty early and we just chill out... we end up not going to the devotions stuff and some of the guys go down for kp so it was allrght

Well, everyone typed and talke dabout sunday.. so i dont reallie feel like doing it.. well maybe i will later, but im a bit tired of typing okie dkoies.. i'll finsih this sometime (haha i promise, lisa!)

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 00:52:29 GMT

Today Richard tried to jack my drink o_O

Richard: Hey man
Me: Good morning Richard!
Richard: What the heck is that thing over there
Me: Oh the fax machine?
-When I turn around Richard had my coffee in his hand-
Richard: HAHAHA
Me: DOOD DONT EVEN TRY STEALING MY COFFEE

-__-"

James, I looked at the price and it was about $3.60 a cup so yeah? Haha expensive stuff... Good thing the nurses pay for me ;)

LOL I laughed my ass off today cause Richard told me he used to hit African bee nests with a stick and ran away as fast as hell to his house and lock the door. LOL He also talked about grabbing random bees and stuff HAHAHAH black people are so funny. Anyhow, we ate from the Hat today... like 50lbs of meat went right into my digestive system o_O

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 14:12:38 GMT

Retreat was FUN. I'll post about it once I get off work.